Walking Down the Road Less Traveled, the Road of your Dreams
Posted: Sunday, September 12, 2010
by Jennifer Stewart
Stepping out of History
The audio version of this article is available. Just press play.
The reason I'm posting this LSA (little short article - thanks David Levitt for that!) is because it's my first blog with audio and I want to tell everybody about it. I don't think I can upload audio on Searchwarp, but if you click on this link you'll get to the blog post, where you can click on the link that says "1st blog audio..."
It's not all singing - in fact, it's mostly me speaking my blog, coward that I am! If you like it, I'd love you to share it with your FaceBook friends. Well, any friends, actually. Anybody know Michael Buble? Oprah?
It's been the most glorious day today. Sunny and warm; excitement in the air, presage of summer. The whole world seems to have been heading to the beach wearing summer clothes, barefoot, laughing; children skipping, lovers of all ages holding hands. Spring flowers lift their yellow and orange faces to the sun. A cute little boat chugs across the bay, flag waving cheerfully. This time of year makes parts of you come alive you'd forgotten existed. Hmm. Thinking today about sensuality. Anybody heard of that word? I think I did, once, long ago. Well, mine seems to have disappeared off the face of the earth. I'm not talking about promiscuous, flout it and give it all away kind of sensuality, I'm talking about feeling alive. I'm not ready to let it go, frankly. Today I woke up to that thought, and looked at the clothes I mooch around in every day, and the exceptionally unsensual frame of mind I slot into. Not attractive.
What to do about it? Hmmm. How about dancing? I've been wanting to learn to do ballroom dancing for ages, and I found a website which gives lessons for every type of dance under the sun, and doesn't cost much to subscribe to. It's a good way to go, because if you're thick as a brick and have two left feet, you can go over the basics a million times. I donned a gorgeous pair of retro-style Nine West heels, and a red polka dot dress I made, and tried out the basic steps free video.
What is it about heels, red polka dots and dancing the salsa? It makes you feel so chic. Oh oh oh oh, staying alive, staying alive. More like Oh oh oh oh, coming alive, coming alive.
Then I spent the day putting the recording together. When I first heard myself recorded about two weeks ago, it was a nightmare, really scary. I was belting it out, imagining I sounded quite wonderful, but actually I didn't at all. I think this is a pretty common experience.
When you're dreaming about something you really long for but don't know how to get to, it can seem so far away, and the destination seems the most important thing. You imagine that you have to be utterly brilliant and polished; perfect in every way. Which creates such hideous pressure and self-doubt. In fact, it can get so nasty that you can want to to give up. Inspiration goes out the window. And then, boy, does the inner critic have a field day.
This happened to me. I suddenly didn't want to sing any more. Crisis! I decided to just stop for a while, just let myself be real. The other day I caught myself humming a tune. Today I got down to seriously recording at least reading my blog, and doing a bit of singing, no pressure.
Obviously I have a big learning curve, but that's okay, it's really exciting to do. You can lay down one track, then sing over it so you have harmony. I could sing all the parts in a choir if I want. Then if something doesn't sound right, you just cut it out, re-record and stick the new bit in. I have very basic software and lousy quality microphone etc. but it's fine to start this way. Then when I build up to better quality I'll be flying.
This is what I discovered. When you actually start the doing, nothing matters except for that. You don't care at all about the destination. It doesn't matter whether you're good or bad, it just matters that you're on the road. Your very own road that was less traveled and is now a little bit more traveled.
It's been the most glorious day today. Sunny and warm; excitement in the air, presage of summer. The whole world seems to have been heading to the beach wearing summer clothes, barefoot, laughing; children skipping, lovers of all ages holding hands. Spring flowers lift their yellow and orange faces to the sun. A cute little boat chugs across the bay, flag waving cheerfully. This time of year makes parts of you come alive you'd forgotten existed. Hmm. Thinking today about sensuality. Anybody heard of that word? I think I did, once, long ago. Well, mine seems to have disappeared off the face of the earth. I'm not talking about promiscuous, flout it and give it all away kind of sensuality, I'm talking about feeling alive. I'm not ready to let it go, frankly. Today I woke up to that thought, and looked at the clothes I mooch around in every day, and the exceptionally unsensual frame of mind I slot into. Not attractive.
What to do about it? Hmmm. How about dancing? I've been wanting to learn to do ballroom dancing for ages, and I found a website which gives lessons for every type of dance under the sun, and doesn't cost much to subscribe to. It's a good way to go, because if you're thick as a brick and have two left feet, you can go over the basics a million times. I donned a gorgeous pair of retro-style Nine West heels, and a red polka dot dress I made, and tried out the basic steps free video.
What is it about heels, red polka dots and dancing the salsa? It makes you feel so chic. Oh oh oh oh, staying alive, staying alive. More like Oh oh oh oh, coming alive, coming alive.
Then I spent the day putting the recording together. When I first heard myself recorded about two weeks ago, it was a nightmare, really scary. I was belting it out, imagining I sounded quite wonderful, but actually I didn't at all. I think this is a pretty common experience.
When you're dreaming about something you really long for but don't know how to get to, it can seem so far away, and the destination seems the most important thing. You imagine that you have to be utterly brilliant and polished; perfect in every way. Which creates such hideous pressure and self-doubt. In fact, it can get so nasty that you can want to to give up. Inspiration goes out the window. And then, boy, does the inner critic have a field day.
This happened to me. I suddenly didn't want to sing any more. Crisis! I decided to just stop for a while, just let myself be real. The other day I caught myself humming a tune. Today I got down to seriously recording at least reading my blog, and doing a bit of singing, no pressure.
Obviously I have a big learning curve, but that's okay, it's really exciting to do. You can lay down one track, then sing over it so you have harmony. I could sing all the parts in a choir if I want. Then if something doesn't sound right, you just cut it out, re-record and stick the new bit in. I have very basic software and lousy quality microphone etc. but it's fine to start this way. Then when I build up to better quality I'll be flying.
This is what I discovered. When you actually start the doing, nothing matters except for that. You don't care at all about the destination. It doesn't matter whether you're good or bad, it just matters that you're on the road. Your very own road that was less traveled and is now a little bit more traveled.
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More commentsI loved that Jenn- What an absolutely beautiful voice you have- warm- compelling... and interesting I adore your accent! You should be on a radio station- talking- everyday... about anything- people would listen. Brilliant that you learned how to do this- I'm afraid I'm too technologically challenged to figure it out- I hope you'll continue with this, and send us many more in future- Thanks a bunch- Always- EllaElla - are you in Dallas now? Did you take the kitchen sink after all?! Thanks so much for your lovely response. I love your idea about a radio station, my imagination is going beserk. And it isn't so difficult, I promise. I'm going to write an article about it. Have a wonderful time in Dallas...
Hi Jennifer,You don't sharing a article, but sharing a music and your mirable voice, it's wonderful, thanks again.Thanks, Island of Briar!
Well done. Clever blog and wish you much success. Had a blip in the computer and ended up sending my comment twice. Best of luck and I hope you'll pursue. I think you have the type of speaking voice and intonation and accent that would sound excellent in documentaries etc. Your singing voice is melodious and lovely.Thanks so much, Heidi. I didn't mind getting the comment twice! I'm definitely going to pursue :)
Young sexy voice you have Jennifer. That's no wonder you keep saying you want to be a singer and now I think it would be a waste of talent if you let it go unheard . Come on, sing out loud !!Young and sexy!!! I love you forever, Hilda :) Okay, okay, I'll sing out loud, just got to sort out how to upload a backing track...
Hi Jennifer.It was absolutely crazy wonderful to hear your voice! Thank you so much for that! I could never talk let alone sing! I'd be too darn nervous. I want to actually hear more from you. You have a really lovely voice.Some of my most favorite singers and not "belters." This audio sounded great!Big hugs,DianneHi Dianne, I'm so glad you liked it! Yes, more is coming. I'm so excited about this. And I was very nervous, I spent AGES recording and re-recording and sweating and despairing! I love what you say about your favorite singers, it gives me courage...
OMG Jennifer! You have an amazing voice. There's one word to describe it, and that's sexy! Honestly. With that voice, attitude, red polka dot dress and heels you will go far. I can see it now. Very cool.Brianna, you have my undying loyalty forever for calling my voice sexy!! Thanks! :)
Well done. Wish you success for all you do in future.Thanks, for reading and for your support, Jacob.
Hey Jennifer! Loved the article! I too want to get into ballroom dancing... I took a class years ago and have since forgotten. I see myself getting back into it someday soon! Swing is really fun and often there are places where they have swing events... where people take a lesson and then can dance for the rest of the evening.. and people dress up and do the whole deal... I imagine it is a lot of fun. Perhaps look into that? Who knows. Always good to hear from you! -BrombergThanks for your comment, Bromberg! I think those evenings are a lot of fun so long as you know how to dance! Which I can't yet, so I'm learning at home, the coward's way, first... And btw, do you prefer to be called Bromberg or Mike?No worries... either name is fine. I like Bromberg because there are a gazillion Mikes, and plus in college most people called me Bromberg, so it just kind of stuck as a nickname, which is cool. If you really want to, make it a goal to take enough lessons where you can go to one of those dance events at a nearby club and then it'll feel great because you'll remember when you were just starting and see how more fun and easier things are now that you have had some experience. Dancing, when you know what you are doing, is the best!
Wonderful work, as always my friend. I guess practice does make perfect after all, huh? You keep on truckin' senorita!Hey, David, thanks. Yes, it's all about practice. I love your comments!
Truly Jen! You have got amazing voice...Thanks, Chiradeep, it's kind of you to say so :)
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