When Fear Runs Rampant And Becomes Paranoia In One Individual, A Country, And The Whole World
Posted: Friday, January 14, 2011
by Jennifer Stewart
Stepping out of History
I often think about fear running rampant – in myself, in a country like South Africa or the US and in the whole world – how it gets to that point where from one perspective it looks like out and out paranoia but from another it looks like cold, hard realism.
It’s easy when you aren’t threatened in any way to see other people’s fear as paranoia, and to make simplistic judgments, but when you’ve personally been attacked, or are in a country where violent crime is prevalent and bombs are going off, it’s not so simple. When you live in a world of political manipulation and abuse of power, and gross human rights violations it’s exceptionally difficult to keep an open mind without worrying that you’re avoiding reality if you try to see the world in a positive light.
Some time ago I was attemptedly mugged on the beach which is en route to the shop where I buy my groceries. I know I wrote about it here, but I'm doing it again to make my point. I used to walk back along the beach with my shopping bags, and never gave it a second thought. I knew there was crime here but I hadn’t experienced it so I wasn’t afraid. I considered myself watchful, but not paranoid.
That day on the beach a man passed me and set my alarm bells off. He looked as if he was quite poor and high on something. I wondered if paranoia had infiltrated after all. He sat down on the dune up ahead. I kept my eyes on him as I approached, but he seemed not to notice me. I passed him, thinking yes I’d been paranoid, and bam! He had run up behind me and was trying to grab my bag which was over one shoulder. Fortunately for me I just got mad, and yelled obscenities at him as I swung my shopping bags – filled with things like toilet rolls, bread and tomatoes! – at him. He was utterly terrified and ran away. If I hadn't been so scared myself, it would have been funny.
But from that day on I’ve been scared of walking along the beach, bag or no bag, although the fear is diminishing. But for a while, whenever a single man approached me walking in the opposite direction, fear would shoot through my body. For a month or so I had to make a very conscious and consistent effort to register every single man who did not attack me as I walked past, and to show myself that this is not about men in general. It was about one individual who happened to be a man.
I knew that if I made it all about men, then my paranoia would increase, and I'd lock myself in a mental and emotional prison that was very detached from reality. After a while, the conscious effort I made overcame my paranoia at least to the extent that I don't think twice any more about single men (that's a relief!) when I pass them on the road. On the beach I still have a kind of vague unease.
Well, the same dynamic seems to be playing out in the US with regard to suicide bombers and fundamentalist Muslims and, amongst conservatives, Muslims in general. There are those who make it all about race or religion. Some of the media, the military industrial complex and various deviant politicians exploit and augment that fear for their own ends.
But just as there is an awful lot more to men than those who attack women, there is much more to America than deviant politicians, distorted media and fear mongers. There are those who resist paranoia, who treasure human life and independence of mind and spirit, who see the faults where they lie; speak out about them and work towards correcting them. I think these people are the true spirit of the country. So, just as I need to monitor my fear and judgment in my personal life, I need to do the same thing with a country like America. I need to inform myself of all that’s good as well as what’s not. I have independence of mind, but it's useless to me if I don't actively use it.
As for the way I view the whole world, a lot of awful things happen these days. It’s easy to get paranoid about the human race and where we’re going. But I don’t want to do that, any more than I want to let it happen in my day to day life or in the way I view a country like the US. I want to be realistic, but I don’t want to be a global fear-monger. It’s not being realistic to only look at the bad, it’s distorting reality. I’ll pay attention to the hideous things that are happening, but I also want to pay close attention to all that’s right with the world, and make a conscious effort to keep in mind all the good people, all the great minds, all the generous hearts.
It’s easy when you aren’t threatened in any way to see other people’s fear as paranoia, and to make simplistic judgments, but when you’ve personally been attacked, or are in a country where violent crime is prevalent and bombs are going off, it’s not so simple. When you live in a world of political manipulation and abuse of power, and gross human rights violations it’s exceptionally difficult to keep an open mind without worrying that you’re avoiding reality if you try to see the world in a positive light.
That day on the beach a man passed me and set my alarm bells off. He looked as if he was quite poor and high on something. I wondered if paranoia had infiltrated after all. He sat down on the dune up ahead. I kept my eyes on him as I approached, but he seemed not to notice me. I passed him, thinking yes I’d been paranoid, and bam! He had run up behind me and was trying to grab my bag which was over one shoulder. Fortunately for me I just got mad, and yelled obscenities at him as I swung my shopping bags – filled with things like toilet rolls, bread and tomatoes! – at him. He was utterly terrified and ran away. If I hadn't been so scared myself, it would have been funny.
But from that day on I’ve been scared of walking along the beach, bag or no bag, although the fear is diminishing. But for a while, whenever a single man approached me walking in the opposite direction, fear would shoot through my body. For a month or so I had to make a very conscious and consistent effort to register every single man who did not attack me as I walked past, and to show myself that this is not about men in general. It was about one individual who happened to be a man.
I knew that if I made it all about men, then my paranoia would increase, and I'd lock myself in a mental and emotional prison that was very detached from reality. After a while, the conscious effort I made overcame my paranoia at least to the extent that I don't think twice any more about single men (that's a relief!) when I pass them on the road. On the beach I still have a kind of vague unease.
Well, the same dynamic seems to be playing out in the US with regard to suicide bombers and fundamentalist Muslims and, amongst conservatives, Muslims in general. There are those who make it all about race or religion. Some of the media, the military industrial complex and various deviant politicians exploit and augment that fear for their own ends.
“It’s not being realistic to only look at the bad, it’s distorting reality.”
As for the way I view the whole world, a lot of awful things happen these days. It’s easy to get paranoid about the human race and where we’re going. But I don’t want to do that, any more than I want to let it happen in my day to day life or in the way I view a country like the US. I want to be realistic, but I don’t want to be a global fear-monger. It’s not being realistic to only look at the bad, it’s distorting reality. I’ll pay attention to the hideous things that are happening, but I also want to pay close attention to all that’s right with the world, and make a conscious effort to keep in mind all the good people, all the great minds, all the generous hearts.
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More commentsGreat personal insight! I often think paranoia and fear are used by media outlets to attract viewers and by politicos to push their agenda. Being attacked like you were can make you cynical, which I'm glad you still think there is good out there. I was attacked in Mexico and my friend received a nasty slice across his arm. from a knife. I like to think of those as isolated incidents. Jennifer I agree with you, I do not want to become a fear-monger and maybe miss out great experiences. Well done article as always.You put that well, Sid - about media outlets and politicos. I agree, if we let fear overrun us all the good things in life will pass us by :)
I've had my days of feeling paranoid Jennifer, in today's world we have to be careful of those we encounter on a daily basis. But I believe the world is becoming a better place to live and some day this better world will be a reality.I also have hope for that, David, and I always am inspired by your articles, because they always reflect that faith.
Well expressed so you are definitely not paranoid. But beware wherever you go because we want to protect ourselves. we are not paranoid although we act this way. I, for one, always be alert in public but I can tell you, Malaysia is a safe place especially now, Chinese New Year is around the corner, we have so much to enjoy. The shopping malls are stacked with multiple kinds of food supply. We shop among other races and they love to eat what we eat.I agree, Hilda, that we have to be watchful - and here in South Africa there's really a lot of very violent crime. I have to accept it and be practical. Malaysia sounds absolutely wonderful, I'm glad you live in such a safe place. Do you celebrate the Chinese New Year?Yes, I do celebrate the Chinese New Year in a simple way = more variety of food and house visitation etc....
I'd like to add on a little bit fact about S.A = few years ago, our Pastor arrived at the airport with his entourage and right at the time they disembarked with luggage and hand baggages around , but within seconds, our pastor's personal bag was nowhere to be seen where he kept money, speech notes, Bible all gone. He had a tough time there and felt terribly setback but somehow, a good friend sent him one similar Bible after 3 months (he returned home after 7 days) A special one (he's greatly gifted/influential /powerful)
The airport is full of notorious people that's one place to be careful !Sorry he had such a horrible experience, Hilda. There's really a lot of crime here.
We can't close our eyes to all the bad things that go on in the world, but we can open our eyes and look for the good in people. There's plenty of it, it just doesn't get the same coverage as hate crimes, violence etc. Although it was not the least bit funny, I smiled when I envisioned you swinging your bag at the guy on the beach. He didn't know who he was messing with. But we did. And you reacted just the way I'd expect you to, with gusto! Take care Jennifer, great article.That the good doesn't get the coverage is exactly the problem, Brianna. It creates a warped perspective. The media is so incredibly powerful now, and all this information about the bad world and bad people is in our faces all the time. As for the mugger, actually it is funny! Pity the tomatoes didn't break in his face!
Thanks for sharing your perspective. I'm sorry you've experienced such fear in your life.Pleasure, Jack. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Ya it's kind of like when you want to write about something wonderful and happy, and are looking so forward to putting a smile on your page, and then bam, something else tragic happens that makes you feel compelled to say what you can to try and right a perceived wrong, then all of a sudden it's like well I'll get to that happy face piece tomorrow. Sometimes it feels like that tomorrow may never come.:-( But it will.I know what you mean about wanting to try and right the wrong. I think it's really important to do that too. Anybody who says balance is easy is lying :)
Hopefully we will all live our lives in such a way that we promote fearlessness in such a way that all creatures, human or otherwise, feel secure.
Best........eThat's a very quotable quote, e :)
It's hard not to be paranoid when you have been a victim of crime. Paranoia is not the right word but one must be aware which is quite different from paranoia--I write about awareness in my book a lot. As for you talking about looking at different sides of issues/countries; I think you are right on. Everyone should look at the other side with an open mind...not just with lip service but really look at the other points--at least if they really want to make a difference and make positive changes.
Great article.
SteveThanks, Steve. And yes, awareness is different to paranoia. The line gets easily blurred, though, it takes constant vigilance.
Give yourself points for good thinking. I give you them even if you don't. God bless.Thanks, Jesus!
A well written and interesting article, Jennifer and I enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing it with us.Thanks, Joel and it's a pleasure.
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