It’s a Dog’s Life, or is it a Banker’s Life? Neither, It’s My Life
Posted: Saturday, May 14, 2011
by Jennifer Stewart
Stepping out of History
I've often thought it's a dog's life, and used to think it was a banker's life, too. Since I don't have a photo of either a dog or a banker, but I do have this one I took of a gull, it will have to do.
Today I passed a bank I used to bank with, whose culture I despise. Take as much as you can, make the client feel like a jerk. Bully Power. They're an old boys' club institution and happily fork out for men who were at the right schools.
I didn't quite fit in. Anyway, I did it without them, but all the money I earned went through them, so they had records of my achievements. But staff were always horrid to me, unfriendly, unhelpful.
Well, after three years of being pretty successful, I bought land for the first time in my life. It was very exciting. My overheads skyrocketed, but I believed I could afford it. It wasn't huge money in the grander scheme of things but it was for me.
Then my business hit the skids. Bad timing. The bank begrudgingly allowed me a bit of credit. My bad, I used it. I didn't have a clue my business was dying a quick death. By the time I did, my monthly mortgage and overdraft payments were terrifying. I had no money coming in. I thought of a new business, to open an art gallery.
My plan was solid, I didn't need operating capital, I found a gorgeous venue where the management promised me 6 months rent free. All I wanted the bank to do was to give me a moratorium so that I could get my business going, and pay them back in full. I'd already proved to them I could build something from nothing.
They disdainfully showed me the middle finger. I begged them to give me a chance. They handed me over to their legal buggers. From then on it was breakfast lunch and dinner with the sharks. I got harassed mercilessly and didn't have the skills or inner strength to deal with it. I was treated like a criminal. It wasn't much fun.
I held it together for almost a year, despite that the venue management reneged on their rent deal and all sorts of other grim and ghastly things happened. But in the end I folded, and eventually lost everything, and they lost their money.
Serve them bloody right. Of course I don't bank with them any more. I didn't used to be able to even think about this without being consumed with rage and hurt and a sense of utter, debilitating powerlessness. But as I walked past them today I realized – I'm bloody over it! It's taken me eight years to recover and rebuild myself on the inside but holy guacamole* I've done it and deep within me I feel a security I've never known throughout my whole life.
Best of all, I haven't just recovered from that crisis, I've recovered what I lost as a child, and that feels priceless to me. I don't regret any of it, because of what I've gained. It's true, your worst enemies sometimes end up being your biggest gift. It doesn't mean you ever have to like them, though. Well, I don't and I'll never deal with them again.
But I don't desire or need to punish anybody any more. I don't want revenge or justice. Because I've got my life back, bigger and better than before. That's all I've ever wanted, anyway. It's a nice feeling.
* Holy Guacamole - I first heard that from one of SearchWarp's great original thinkers, Gregory Lewis.
Today I passed a bank I used to bank with, whose culture I despise. Take as much as you can, make the client feel like a jerk. Bully Power. They're an old boys' club institution and happily fork out for men who were at the right schools.Well, after three years of being pretty successful, I bought land for the first time in my life. It was very exciting. My overheads skyrocketed, but I believed I could afford it. It wasn't huge money in the grander scheme of things but it was for me.
Then my business hit the skids. Bad timing. The bank begrudgingly allowed me a bit of credit. My bad, I used it. I didn't have a clue my business was dying a quick death. By the time I did, my monthly mortgage and overdraft payments were terrifying. I had no money coming in. I thought of a new business, to open an art gallery.
My plan was solid, I didn't need operating capital, I found a gorgeous venue where the management promised me 6 months rent free. All I wanted the bank to do was to give me a moratorium so that I could get my business going, and pay them back in full. I'd already proved to them I could build something from nothing.
They disdainfully showed me the middle finger. I begged them to give me a chance. They handed me over to their legal buggers. From then on it was breakfast lunch and dinner with the sharks. I got harassed mercilessly and didn't have the skills or inner strength to deal with it. I was treated like a criminal. It wasn't much fun.
I held it together for almost a year, despite that the venue management reneged on their rent deal and all sorts of other grim and ghastly things happened. But in the end I folded, and eventually lost everything, and they lost their money.
Serve them bloody right. Of course I don't bank with them any more. I didn't used to be able to even think about this without being consumed with rage and hurt and a sense of utter, debilitating powerlessness. But as I walked past them today I realized – I'm bloody over it! It's taken me eight years to recover and rebuild myself on the inside but holy guacamole* I've done it and deep within me I feel a security I've never known throughout my whole life.
Best of all, I haven't just recovered from that crisis, I've recovered what I lost as a child, and that feels priceless to me. I don't regret any of it, because of what I've gained. It's true, your worst enemies sometimes end up being your biggest gift. It doesn't mean you ever have to like them, though. Well, I don't and I'll never deal with them again.
But I don't desire or need to punish anybody any more. I don't want revenge or justice. Because I've got my life back, bigger and better than before. That's all I've ever wanted, anyway. It's a nice feeling.
* Holy Guacamole - I first heard that from one of SearchWarp's great original thinkers, Gregory Lewis.
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Top-level comments on this article: (6 total)I hear ya on this one Jennifer. My story is not about a bank, but the harrassment is the same. I had some money I needed to pay back to the college I went to, and after a phone conversation a woman told me she'd mail me a contract of agreement for payment. It sat on my table for about four weeks, but I did intend to send them so much a month and sign the contract. However, before I did, I received a call from the same woman telling me that my account had been turned over to a collection agency. Since then the phone calls have not stopped. They agravate me so much that I refuse to answer their calls or pay a dime.Sorry to hear that, Kenny. Didn't they give you warning they were going to hand you over, and can they do that without a signed contract?
Jennifer. In my humble opinion, you are a success story. It's not the falling down that defines us, it's the getting up, dusting the dirt off our bum and moving on! I'm so happy for you and I know your story will encourage many. I have worked with many people in your position (myself included) it pains me and angers me to know that there are so many ruthless creditors and collectors. It gives good collectors a bad name and makes it hard for them to do their job. Keep moving forward, you are an inspiration! Blessings to you! TThanks, Teresa, and you're right, it is the getting up that defines us. It's hard to do, but once it's done you have something to be proud of!
I have a friend who feels much the same as you. He lost everything and says there was a kind of peace when he had nothing else to lose. He also learned what he could live without. Doesn't mean it wasn't tough though, but you did it Jennifer and you're stronger for it! Nice gull btw. :)I know what you friend means. When there's nothing else to lose all the "what-ifs" stop and you just deal with what is. I've also learned a lot and you're right, it does make you stronger.
Written from the Heart. Written from the "Gut". I loved picking up the visceral throughout. Extremely effective writing. I commend you.Thanks, Christofer, what a great compliment.
Hi Jennifer.
I love Teresa's first couple of sentences. She is so right.
All my life I've made the most progress in the face of apparent defeat. If you DID still need revenge (which you obviously don't), you got it in surviving and thriving despite their best efforts to keep you down.
Great teaching story ... well written as always.
Hugs,
Diannethanks, Dianne. I have to tell you, I've had the most miserable interruption to my horse riding - I pulled a muscle and haven't been able to ride for 5 weeks, mostly because I went to a massage therapist who made it worse, then a physio, ditto! Finally found another physio who knows what she's doing. But it's going to be weeks before I can ride again. Boo hoo.BUMMER! Did you pull the muscle riding? And that must have been some really bad muscle pull! I'm so sorry to hear that. Ouch! But ... you know (if you can walk at all) this might be a good time to get to know your horse better ... if that's allowed. You could go and just spend time together or watch him as he goes about his day. See how he responds at meal time. Learn what he likes to eat best. That sort of thing. The more you know about your horse, the better you understand him and the better you understand him the better partnership you will have. And besides, it's just plain fun hanging around with horses. And if there are other people present, you can pick their brains for tips and tricks and the like.
I hope it doesn't take as long as you think before you can get back on! Heal fast and well.
Hi Jennifer, glad you got you groove and confidence back. I am doing a few things that are new for me and you words help me know it is all going to work out.
I will be reading you!Hey, James, it's nice to see you back here! Good luck with your new ventures, and I'm glad I could help keep you believing in yourself.
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