I’m 55 and I’m Not Dead Yet: 40 was the New 30, Now 50 is the New 40, Ergo I'm 35.
Posted: Thursday, July 28, 2011
by Jennifer Stewart
Stepping out of History
I’m starting a movement called I’m 55 and I’m Not Dead Yet. When I was a child I thought that when I got to be 50 it would feel ancient. It doesn’t, though. In fact, I feel more like 35, only a whole lot wiser than I was at that age. I think. I hope.
When I was growing up children weren’t revered the way they are today, especially in America. Which I suppose is just the pendulum swinging the other way. It’s beautiful to see, but there’s been a kind of side effect which is a bit weird, and revolting to experience if you’re not a child any more. It’s that as you get older your value diminishes. Well it’s been true for a long time in principle. Who’s ever cared about old people?
But now the years you have of value are getting less and less. Before, in childhood the adults were the ones who had careers and worked towards success. They had huge value in that period say from 20’s to 40’s. But now children shed their innocence very young, and even become celebrities in their teens. They’re the new adults.
Now by the time you’re 20 or 30 you’re over the hill already. Spent, useless to society. Well that can’t be right. It means that as a being, age is what determines your worth. So when you’re young you deserve tons of back-up and support, but when you get older you don’t. It’s absurd. A person’s value lies in their existence, their spirit, not in how old or young they are.
What about the adults like me? It’s taken me all this time to work through all the crap within myself that disabled me and stopped me from making my dreams come true. It wasn’t that I didn’t know what my dreams were, and it certainly wasn’t that I didn’t try. I just failed a lot. So should I just sigh and give up and shrug my shoulders? Should I be philosophical and say at least I dreamed and at least I tried?
I think not. At the age of 55 I could say I’ve had my chance and I blew it. I could let myself be a victim of a social trend to discount people – especially women, I think – over the age of 40 who haven’t made it yet. But if I accept the idea that nothing can happen for me my life is over and what will have been the point? I will have spent my life with my dreams burning at me, wrestling with the enemy within. Only to die and not taste anything of what I’ve craved all my life.
What a waste. Children today are being enabled and given fabulous opportunities today and that’s as it should be. They’re supposed to be given to. But adults are supposed to be given to also. It’s just that as an adult you have to make it happen for you. You kind of have to be the parent to your creative self; to find and give yourself those opportunities.
Somebody said the other day that 40 is the new 30. Well that was a few years ago. Now 50 is the new 40. It really is. People my age are starting their lives over, standing up above the crowd, letting themselves be heard, doing what they want to do. Maybe what they’ve always wanted to. Not giving in to that ridiculous idea that your value has anything at all to do with age. The more of us who do it, the more we change how society views us.
So it’s quite exciting really, to be this age in this era. At the forefront of change.
When I was growing up children weren’t revered the way they are today, especially in America. Which I suppose is just the pendulum swinging the other way. It’s beautiful to see, but there’s been a kind of side effect which is a bit weird, and revolting to experience if you’re not a child any more. It’s that as you get older your value diminishes. Well it’s been true for a long time in principle. Who’s ever cared about old people?
Now by the time you’re 20 or 30 you’re over the hill already. Spent, useless to society. Well that can’t be right. It means that as a being, age is what determines your worth. So when you’re young you deserve tons of back-up and support, but when you get older you don’t. It’s absurd. A person’s value lies in their existence, their spirit, not in how old or young they are.
What about the adults like me? It’s taken me all this time to work through all the crap within myself that disabled me and stopped me from making my dreams come true. It wasn’t that I didn’t know what my dreams were, and it certainly wasn’t that I didn’t try. I just failed a lot. So should I just sigh and give up and shrug my shoulders? Should I be philosophical and say at least I dreamed and at least I tried?
I think not. At the age of 55 I could say I’ve had my chance and I blew it. I could let myself be a victim of a social trend to discount people – especially women, I think – over the age of 40 who haven’t made it yet. But if I accept the idea that nothing can happen for me my life is over and what will have been the point? I will have spent my life with my dreams burning at me, wrestling with the enemy within. Only to die and not taste anything of what I’ve craved all my life.
What a waste. Children today are being enabled and given fabulous opportunities today and that’s as it should be. They’re supposed to be given to. But adults are supposed to be given to also. It’s just that as an adult you have to make it happen for you. You kind of have to be the parent to your creative self; to find and give yourself those opportunities.
Somebody said the other day that 40 is the new 30. Well that was a few years ago. Now 50 is the new 40. It really is. People my age are starting their lives over, standing up above the crowd, letting themselves be heard, doing what they want to do. Maybe what they’ve always wanted to. Not giving in to that ridiculous idea that your value has anything at all to do with age. The more of us who do it, the more we change how society views us.
So it’s quite exciting really, to be this age in this era. At the forefront of change.
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Top-level comments on this article: (7 total)"At the forefront of change" - great ending! I find myself an "oldie but goodie" these days. Never pictured myself a grandmother, I was so young, vital and energetic. Yet I have become a senior and am one of the old folks. When I look in the mirror, I now see an older adult looking back - that's not me, really. I still feel vital and no one describes me at my real age. Yet there is the reality. Phewey! I have so much more to give and live and love and be! I encourage my grandkids and relish their successes - frankly not enough of them - they have most everything given them but don't use it the way I might have. We had to make opportunities; they get them in heaps and droves but what do they do? Most of them go wasted. Their priorities are underdeveloped! And this is what I see all around kids. Sure some kids grab opportunity but not to the extent my generation would have - even my kids' generation. The youngsters and teens of now complain - a lot. They can't stand cold weather and can't stand hot weather. They whine and bemoan. Lots of things get "I can't" - My thoughts. Your article hit home to me, big time. It was great especially to get my feelings revved up.Glad my article had such an impact, Heidi! When I was in school a teacher read out a bunch of quotes saying the world was going to the dogs and the younger generation was unmotivated etc. He asked us who we thought was the author. Turned out to be Aristotle!!
Before a saying goes like this : 40 is a withered flower (for women) meaning women at 40s are useless and haggard. After several decades from now, women at 40s have just begun to bloom. See the difference, Jennifer. I discovered I haven't lived yet.Wow, that's amazing Hilda. I guess we really have come a long way...
After I read this article, I stood up from my chair and applauded long and loudly- can you hear me? Can you see the broad grin on my face and hear the satisfied roar of my laughter? Bravo! If you never do another outstanding thing in your whole life; you have achieved this: You make people FEEL- and feel wonderful- and that's a great achievement my dear friend- I think it was what you were meant to do.
Encore- I think I shall read this again-I get so much pleasure from it! After reading this, I feel as tho I'm still in my fifties LOL..... Thanks so much Jenn- Always- EllaI heard you from way across the Atlantic, dear Ella!! What a great comment, it made me feel so great. Thanks, you're a darling.
Hi Jennifer.
I think the problem with "handing" today's kids so much is that they then "expect" to always be handed things and then they complain when they don't get their way. Don't work that way. At least not in my experience.
Aside from that bit of disgruntlement, this is a great and insightful article! Most of the time I don't really give a thought to aging. I'm fit enough and can mostly do what I want and need to do without too many after effects (you know, like scraping and sanding the wood trim on the house and then painting it). But some days, the whole thing up and slaps me in the face. Mostly when I've been out running errands and I see all the young people with their fresh faces and new lives before them. Sometimes I feel like I should have done more with my time when I was that young. Mostly, though, I'm happy with where I am right now. Mostly. :)
Anyway, you've really got me thinking when I need to be doing. Lots to accomplish today!
Hugs,
DianneI think it's amazing you don't generally think about aging, Dianne, and it's always inspiring to me that you're pretty much content with your life.
I'm not sure I agree with some of your assessments of the young, or the older but... Thanks for the essay. I enjoy the introspection you often display.Thanks, Jack. It's nice to see you.
I agree with you, Jenn. 50 has to be the new 40! I think the biggest thing that makes us old is when we can't change or learn something new. In light of that, you and I have proven that we're not old at all.That's a good yardstick, Bruce. What are you, in your 40's? Well, if 50 is now the new 30 (by very logical process of deduction) then 40 must be the new 20!
I'm planning to write about my mother-in-law who just turned eighty. She told me eighty is the new sixty. I"m not so sure I agree with her but I'm fifty and can't keep up with her. Loved this article. Gave me a boost. I'm feeling my age today. :)I swear, Brianna, I can't think of you as being 50. I always thought you were in your early 40's! I suppose the image I've got of what 50 looks and sounds like is the one I formed when I was about ten years old, so of course 50 seemed ancient. It's time to readjust it, I think...
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