Dialogue Between Me And My Inner Critic (IC)
Posted: Friday, November 25, 2011
by Jennifer Stewart
Stepping out of History
ME: I wish I had more chutzpah, like the Meryl Streep character in The Devil Wears Prada.
IC: Stop whining and do something about it.
ME: I thought I was.
IC: Well, obviously you're wrong. It isn't working.
ME: You're driving me crazy. I'm turning down the volume so I can't hear you.
IP:
ME: That's better. It's nice and peaceful when you're not around. Next time you think you've got something to say keep it to yourself. It don't want to hear it.
IP: Well you should, because I'm just doing this for your good. You think anybody’s going to read your book? Get a life for Christ's sake.
ME: (Damn volume knob, keeps slipping...) How do you know that's the truth?
IC: Please. How many friends have you got? If you died today there wouldn't be anybody at your funeral. You've alienated your family, you've walked away from every friendship you've ever had. In any case, they were all sick of your whining.
ME: Where's the superglue? Need to keep the volume knob at zero.
CP:
ME: Ha! I know what this is: as soon as I get confident that what I'm doing has prospect you try to spoil it. Doesn't matter what I'm doing. Publishing my book, singing, watching a movie, watching TV, practicing piano, writing my scripts -
CP: Your superglue doesn't even work properly. Yeah, and look how well all of that is going. How many sales have you made? Huh? And as for your other projects, you're so totally isolated that you don't even know what other people do, so how can you write believable fiction? If you were a balanced normal person maybe people would want to get to know y-
ME: HEY! You're a cancer. If I was Sister Theresa you'd tell me I was doing all that charity work so I could go to heaven. If I was Oprah you'd say how dare you think you can lead the world when you can't fix your own problems.
CP: Wel-
ME: I haven't finished. It's not about me doing right or wrong. It's about there being no place for me to flourish in your world. No matter what I am, no matter what I do.
CP: W -
ME: Did I say I was finished? I didn't invite you in here. You're not welcome. Don't come back. I don't care if I'm wrong, I'm allowed to be who I am. What people think of me is none of my business. Whatever they say will be about them, not about me. If I press their buttons that's about them, not about me.
CP:
ME: What's the matter? Cat got your tongue? Something you're missing completely is that no person on earth can be more than they are at any given point -
CP: -
ME: - and I'm better at it than I used to be. You're a bully, all sound and noise signifying nothing. I'm moving on up, moving on out, that's what I'm doing.
Huh. That did it. The damn thing has gone
e away. And I still wish I had the chutzpah of that Meryl Streep character in The Devil Wears Prada.
IC: Stop whining and do something about it.
ME: I thought I was.
IC: Well, obviously you're wrong. It isn't working.
ME: You're driving me crazy. I'm turning down the volume so I can't hear you.
ME: That's better. It's nice and peaceful when you're not around. Next time you think you've got something to say keep it to yourself. It don't want to hear it.
IP: Well you should, because I'm just doing this for your good. You think anybody’s going to read your book? Get a life for Christ's sake.
ME: (Damn volume knob, keeps slipping...) How do you know that's the truth?
IC: Please. How many friends have you got? If you died today there wouldn't be anybody at your funeral. You've alienated your family, you've walked away from every friendship you've ever had. In any case, they were all sick of your whining.
ME: Where's the superglue? Need to keep the volume knob at zero.
CP:
ME: Ha! I know what this is: as soon as I get confident that what I'm doing has prospect you try to spoil it. Doesn't matter what I'm doing. Publishing my book, singing, watching a movie, watching TV, practicing piano, writing my scripts -
CP: Your superglue doesn't even work properly. Yeah, and look how well all of that is going. How many sales have you made? Huh? And as for your other projects, you're so totally isolated that you don't even know what other people do, so how can you write believable fiction? If you were a balanced normal person maybe people would want to get to know y-
ME: HEY! You're a cancer. If I was Sister Theresa you'd tell me I was doing all that charity work so I could go to heaven. If I was Oprah you'd say how dare you think you can lead the world when you can't fix your own problems.
CP: Wel-
ME: I haven't finished. It's not about me doing right or wrong. It's about there being no place for me to flourish in your world. No matter what I am, no matter what I do.
CP: W -
ME: Did I say I was finished? I didn't invite you in here. You're not welcome. Don't come back. I don't care if I'm wrong, I'm allowed to be who I am. What people think of me is none of my business. Whatever they say will be about them, not about me. If I press their buttons that's about them, not about me.
CP:
ME: What's the matter? Cat got your tongue? Something you're missing completely is that no person on earth can be more than they are at any given point -
CP: -
ME: - and I'm better at it than I used to be. You're a bully, all sound and noise signifying nothing. I'm moving on up, moving on out, that's what I'm doing.
Huh. That did it. The damn thing has gone
“I still wish I had the chutzpah of that Meryl Streep character in The Devil Wears Prada.
”
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Top-level comments on this article: (5 total)That's it Jenn- tell IC to keep her big mouth shut- especially if she's being critical instead of helpful....are we speaking Geek Speak?.....LOL- learned some already-Amen, Ella!
This is brilliant and sooo funny. Its like the story of my head... just my IC never quite shuts up no matter how much i tell her off.I know, it's a bitch isn't it!
Using humor to defend against the inner critic is an advanced technique and very effective. As you see trying to get it to understand our point of view is impossible - it's just not interested in objective reality. The best book I've read on disengaging from it is Soul Without Shame add dot com for websiteYou're absolutely right about it's perspective. Thanks for the book...
I wish I had (just a little) of the chutzpah of the Meryl Streep character in The Devil Wears Prada too Jennifer. She was a real bitch, and just once I'd like to let mine out. :) I hear ya sista!Go for it, Brianna, I dare you :) It's the way she put her boundaries down without worrying about rescuing people that I lust after!!The metaphor of the suburban prison, that you use, is a good one. Of course we know that you are not physically imprisoned by suburbia- it is your real inner self that feels imprisoned. The bars of this prison are made of the demands, control, and expectations of the people around you. We do all have these prison bars. The way I see it is- we can use the saw we have within us to break those bars and escape, or except a life sentence and serve our time behind those bars. A difficult choice, Huh?-I'm with you Bri---Always EllaI agree Ella, I think everyone has bars to some extent. For me, the expectations, for the most part, aren't imposed on me by others, but expectations I have of myself. Women in general are good at placing high expectations on themselves I think.True Bri- We all do have expectations of ourselves...we have to wonder why we have them- especially if they are contrary to our natural instincts- They must be ingrained in us by the society in which we grow and live. Just as a plant takes on its surroundings- so will we.....maybe... :)I love the way you put it, Ella. I think we start out receiving those expectations as children (often completely covert and the people we get them from aren't conscious they're giving them). Then we internalize the messages and do to ourselves what was done to us.
At some point we wake up to the fact that we're in prison, and we do what we need to dismantle the critical system in our heads. Hah! This is what my book is about!!Had to start over- under my own name..:)
You're right Jenn. But the bombardment from outside forces doesn't stop with childhood- we are hit with these adverse bullets, if you will, at every turn throughout our lives, it's a constant ongoing battle to fight them off. -- to push away what we feel is not suitable for us. To use the metaphor of the flower, if it had the brain and mind of the human, and wasn't comfortable with what its environment had molded it into- it could change itself into what it wanted to be. We humans do have that capacity- to be what our environment tries to force us to be, or not to be- that is the question.
I so much enjoy the opportunity to have these conversations with you all- Thanks for writing the article that enabled them.- That's what Wrytestuff aka SearchWarp- is all about ..to me.Yes, we are hit with that bombardment at every turn, Ella, I think it's the nature of this particular experience. But I do believe they reflect, in a million different ways, the state of our consciousness of our own entitlement and that when they're very challenging it's because we're still not that strong within ourselves and our belief. The stronger we get, the less the challenges actually get to us.
And I agree we definitely have the capacity to emerge from the prison of what our environment has taught us.
It's great talking you, I love it!
I'm back to give you five more stars, because that's how strongly I feel about this. :)Love you!!
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