Taking a Break…From Writing, And All Things Computer

I took such a break that I didn’t write anything at all for ten days.  I didn’t mean for it to happen, but suddenly those days had slid by and I was feeling as if I’d been dismembered.  My whole world felt weird, I couldn’t figure it out.  I thought maybe it was just the Christmas season, which always discombobulates me a bit.  All that shopping frenzy.  Then I realized. It’s been years since I didn’t write anything for ten days.

It all started when my computer screen died.  I didn’t know whether my computer was going to follow suit or not, since they were about the same age, and for days I got stuck in a debate, should I just get another screen, but what if the computer dies too then it’s a waste of money, and maybe I should just get a laptop but I can’t really afford it but I want one but I can’t really afford it and maybe I should try and get one on hire purchase but that probably won’t work because I’m still blacklisted, so maybe I should just get the screen but what if…

So that was a couple of days of not writing anything and getting increasingly frustrated.  As with all mindless debates, this one ended in a temper tantrum just make a damn decision, you’ll find a way to deal with the consequences.  I marched down to the local store to see if I could get the laptop on hire purchase.  The salesman was a sleazy fellow who clearly thought he was Mr. Charm Himself.  Reminded me of the only car salesman I’ve ever dealt with.  Mr. Wolf was his name, I kid you not.

Then it turned out that he wouldn’t give me a contract anyway because of my blacklisting.  Fine, I don’t like you either.  Well, I wasn’t going to go home to more mindless debate,  so I set off marching again, to another store, and let myself be persuaded by a fella who was Charm Personified, but in a nice way.  Actually he didn’t have to persuade me at all, my arm was enveloped in a neon flashing sign twist me, twist me!  He threw in a free brand new case and promised me my laptop would arrive in a couple of days.

Oh the exquisitely painful pleasure of anticipation.  Which quickly gave way to buyers remorse and blank terror at three in the morning, what if I can’t figure out how to use it, what if I hate it, I miss my big old bulky computer already, I feel disloyal, what if the laptop doesn’t work, what if Charm Personified is just another Mr. Wolf in sheep’s clothing, what if I’ve wasted my money…  Frightening how the mind can run away with you.   Fancy thinking I wouldn’t know how to use a laptop.

As it turned out, Mr. Charm Personified wasn’t a replica Wolf, and my laptop works just fine, and I didn’t know how to use it but I figured it out - although I still don’t know how to use the touch thingumy to scroll down a page, and I still keep opening up miscellaneous windows by mistake and typing nonsensical words because I’m not used to such a small keyboard.  But that’s already getting better and hey, I’ve got real quick at back spacing.  Who knows?  Maybe one day I’ll need it as a super survival tool.  Then I’ll be grateful won’t I.

I did feel a sense of loss as I packed away my old desktop – loss of something familiar.  Actually it was surprisingly strong, but I got over it pretty damn quickly.  What a pleasure to have an uncluttered desk and more visual space and to be able to put my laptop wherever I want to and take it with me to far away places.  Bye bye cabin fever!  And my laptop is new and beautiful and it has a built in webcam and loads of lovely memory and Mr. Charm for Real gave me Windows 7 for free and I’m as happy as a happy geek-lark.

Especially now that I’ve broken my dry spell and churned out a few miscellaneous words.  Aaahh, life is good.